Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Andrew Madoff Up At Bat

To: Irv Picard
From: Andrew Madoff
cc: Scott Cohn
cc: B. Madoff
Dear Irv: 
In reply and response to your latest mis-guided missile, the one in which you have upped the ante on your seemingly never-ceasing litigation campaign to not only recover money that I don't have, but to discredit both me and my deceased brother in the eyes of the world, please consider this my retort to you. 
Before I get to that, a shout out to Scott Cohn at CNBC, who could easily be mistaken for an ambulance-chasing lawyer, but instead, is nothing more than a bit player from the "5th Estate" (not to be confused with the 4th Estate), and dances like a puppet for a one-time news and now exclusively "entertainment" network that prides itself on half truths, ranting and raving, and worse still, a silo of a larger network that has taken great pride in broadcasting photo and video images of 'innocent Palestinians" who, as we all know and regret, are serving as human shields for terrorists who are launching hundreds of real missiles into highly-populated cities in Israel with the immediate goal of murdering several million Jewish people, and the ultimate goal of wiping out western civilization. 

With that thought in mind, Scott has proven that he is very adept at lurking outside of court houses and police dept booking desks, hoping to spin a new story that will keep advertisers interested in his line of jibber jabber and his current place of employment. Within the context of reporting fairly about me, as well as my family members, I would certainly not expect a 2nd rate muckracking outlet such as CNBC to report anything that was accurate, other than perhaps the closing prices well after the markets are closed. 

Any child who knows how to read need only read this line of the news reports discussing Picard's latest overreaching:  "Citing testimony from Frank DiPascali, the firm's former finance chief who is cooperating with prosecutors, Picard also accused...."

So, Picard's claims are being driven by Dimes Dipascali, a serial sycophant (Scott, you know what that word means, right??) who, in his wet dreams, aspires to be Frank Sinatra. And, what a surprise, it would appear that Dimes has equally-influenced his Keystone Kop masters; those boneheads from the FBI who couldn't find a hole in a whorehouse if it had hair on it without first waterboarding the doorman. Yes, I am aware that the FBI Director lives a tony town that is a short distance from my mom's house in Greenwich, and my being so outspoken puts me at risk of his wrath when considering his notoriety for exploiting government resources in order to exact revenge on those who disparage him...or those who raise questions about his former employer, the world's biggest and arguably, most secretive hedge fund. Funny how that shit happens, right?

Let me be perfectly clear...I'll likely be dead before anyone could prove beyond a reasonable doubt that I (or my brother, now dead) had any knowledge, or in any way helped to carry out the crazy scheme that my father pleaded guilty to. More important, the notion that I have tens of millions of dollars is as ludicrous as the most recent allegations made by Mr. Picard, and as ludicrous as the allegations I am told the federal government plans to file against me.

Any further statement from me will be courtesy of my next appearance on 60 Minutes.

Andrew Madoff

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Konigsberg Caves: Plans to Plead Guilty: Bridge Players Unite!

As reported by various news outlets, my former accountant Pauly Konigsberg is expected to plead guilty to charges in connection with the "massive Ponzi scheme, a U.S. prosecutor said at a Tuesday court hearing."

Paul will likely enter a guilty plea next week under a cooperation agreement with the government, Assistant U.S. Attorney Matthew Schwartz said. "We are finalizing the terms of a plea," Schwartz told U.S. District Judge Laura Taylor Swain in Manhattan. Konigsberg and his attorney, Reed Brodsky, attended the hearing but did not discuss plea details. The nature of Konigsberg's proposed cooperation is unclear.

Paul...I'll tell you what is clear: you'll be able to play all the bridge that you want and if you play your cards right, you'll be sent to a place with a 9-hole course and have quality time to drive your handicap to the single digits!

Hey..don't despair about my 'jailhouse humor'--we all had a good run. You're an accountant, so you can appreciate this is all calculated into the cost of doing business!

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Obama's DOJ Targets Hedge Fund Guru Icahn, Not Golf Star Mickelson; Norb Vonnegut Novel is Next

Friday's announcement re: the FBI' s latest witch hunt into celebrity insider-trading gives President Obama and Eric Holder a hat-trick in a "farther-thee-well" Brooklyn Cheer to Carl Icahn, as the President is running at full pace as he approaches the finish line.

The ridiculous suggestion fluttering around twitter space where golf star Phil Mickelson is the target of FBI and SEC retribution for his outspoken position on federal tax issues is being promoted by morons. Tying him into a Las Vegas gambler Billy Walters makes the story better, but the Keystone Kops hit a trifecta in their opening bet by also throwing the bright lights on outspoken corporate activist and multi-billionaire hedge fund investor, who just happens to be a long-time critic of the President.. Roll to this clip...

If you didn't know better, this bizarre update to a long running feud, and arguably related to the President's wanting to plant his epitaph on a billionaires who opposed his policies is a story that could just as easily be a preview to this summer's Norb Vonnegut novel. Or maybe a Jimmy Breslin story; "The Feds Who Couldn't Prosecute Wall Street Fat Cats Straight.." How about the added twist of Obama and Holder bringing in gun-for-hire FBI head Jim Tomey, who after a career as an Eliot Ness wannabee, Comey found his true calling (and real taste of money along with power) when appointed to the role of General Counsel for the world's biggest hedge fund; Westport Ct-based Bridgewater Associate (a firm whose owner Ray Dalio is not considered to be a supporter of competitor Carl Icahn.)That was the job Comey held immediately before becoming today's J.Edgar Hoover. Interesting coincidences.

Stay-tuned. Count on CNBC to keep this story one the front burner as we head into what is forecast to be the hottest summer since 1973. ..Count on me to tell you what the real story is about. Trust me.

trying to point blame for the financial crisis to rich people, and particularly rich people who made money the old fashioned way..on Wall Street..

To those who don't know this at all, federal prosecutors are the most dangerous people in this country. More often than not, they are by-products of broken homes and victims of bullying; self righteous political and power hungry ladder climbers. For those who meet that profile, overreaching and prosecutorial misconduct are merely calculated risks one takes in the path to thinking they have a bigger penis.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Madoff Trustee Irv Picard Put Down By Obama Administration Opinion; Major Banks Should Be Held Harmless?!

From: Bernie Madoff
To: Eric Holder, Donald Verrilli, Jr.
cc: Scott Cohn/CNBC, Irv Picard
re: Solicitor General Opinion/Picard Trustee

In what I can only liken to the Supreme Court's bizarre decision to allow corporations to make unlimited donations to political action committees and political campaigns, I'm truly baffled by the Obama Administration's position i.e. rejecting Irv Picard's argument that as bankruptcy trustee, he should be allowed to pursue actions/claims against major banks that enabled the so-called Madoff Ponzi scheme.

The SG opinion [that Picard is representing the Madoff firm vs. investors who deposited money with the firm], and precludes Picard from pursuing claims against those who served as a blinded-eye gateway is nothing short of preposterous. Then again, money talks and bullsh*t walks...

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Picard to Breeden re Madoff Claims: Wishing You Lots of Luck!

From: Richard Breeden, Special Master
To: Bernie Madoff
cc: Preet Bharara, Irving Picard, J.Picower
RE: DOJ Madoff Claims

Dear Bernie:
I have to admit that Preet's pronouncement back in December 2013, which suggested that "DOJ's disbursement of the $4bil recovered would be processed in a timely fashion" is now open to interpretation.

To date, we've received more than 51,000 claims, representing more than $40 billion in losses, and many of those claims appear to be from Hurricane Katrina victims, as well as hundreds of claimants from Nigeria, Madagascar, Cambodia and Kazakhstan.

I also have to admit that Preet has created a nightmare for everyone by suggesting that recoveries from Jeff Picower and JPMorgan would go to claimants, particularly when we're short of resources and that we will end up spending at least $750 million processing and verifying these claims. My best guess is that it will take years to untangle this mess, but the good news is, that $750 million in projected expenses will go towards hiring many dysfunctional souls, including recently displaced US Postal Workers who need work and couldn't easily get a job elsewhere.

It is hard to imagine that 50,000 individuals and businesses lost $40billion on top of Picard's $17 bil lost by investors in your "Ponzi Scheme", but then again, this gig is going to pay me a handsome fee, so why should I complain?

To Irv Picard, who said to me, "I wish you a lot of luck.."... Irv, I don't need luck, I just need to know which car you think is a better ride, the Mercedes 550 or the Tesla?
Dick Breeden

Monday, May 5, 2014

More Madoff Money in The Mail...

To my fans and followers:
While sitting here playing bridge with Junior and the Gang, the below alert came through on [his] Blackberry.

May 5 2014 Press release from the office of Irving H. Picard, SIPA Trustee for the liquidation of Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC (BLMIS)

Irving H. Picard, Securities Investor Protection Act (SIPA) Trustee for the liquidation of Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC, said today that the fourth pro rata interim distribution of recoveries from the Customer Fund to eligible BLMIS customers commenced on Monday, May 5, 2014.

In the fourth interim distribution, the SIPA Trustee is distributing approximately $351.6 million on a pro rata basis to BLMIS account holders with allowed claims, bringing the amount distributed to eligible claimants to almost $6 billion, which includes approximately $812.2 million in committed advances from the Securities Investor Protection Corporation (SIPC).

“Today’s distribution is another important step forward for our recovery efforts,” said Mr. Picard. “We are already looking ahead to additional, significant recoveries and distributions later this year. While more than 1,100 victims have already recovered the full principal they lost in the fraud, we are working to restore all of the stolen funds to all of the approved claimants as quickly as possible.”
My Zimbio
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